Just Another Drag Queen
by iamthechickenqueen
Summary: The Fantastic Foursome find themselves in a complicated whirlwind of love, deception and men dressed as women
1. Chapter 1 - Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Chapter One - Wrong Place, Wrong Time

"Dammit Phil, these directions are shit", Dan muttered to himself as he paced down a London street looking for the bar he was supposed to be meeting his friends in. A crumpled piece of Hello Kitty note paper from his flat mate displaying a sketchy drawing and a few scribbled notes was clutched in his right hand, as his left searched through his pocket for his phone.

"Fucking hell!" The battery was dead and Dan had no way of contacting Phil, nor any other YouTuber, whom he was supposed to be having a drink with.

The reason he was arriving alone, and had not left the apartment with Phil, was simple. He had been with a girl. The Internet was unaware of this girl and that's the way Dan wanted it to stay, at least for the time being. He had only know her a month or so and any time he wasn't on the Internet, being ironic or a combination of the two, he spent getting to know her.

Dan fished his phone out of his pocket again to check the time, another muffled profanity spilling from his mouth as he remembered it was dead. It was dark, cold and he could just about feel the rain in the wind. He knew if he didn't find the place soon he would either be arriving with hobbit hair or not arriving at all.

It was at that point a glowing sign caught his eye. It read: 'Pink Punters'. In his rushed and flustered state Dan didn't realise what was jumping out at him from the exterior of this bar. As it was the only place he had see in a while logic told him this might be where his friends were waiting for him, and he distinctly remembered Phil saying it was called something along those lines.

Upon entering the obvious smacked him in the face. The bright colours, the exuberantly dressed people and, of course, the name - Dan had stumbled into the best LGBT club this side of London.

Unsure as to whether he should leave immediately or attempt to look for his friends, Dan found himself a good five minutes later still standing there taking in his surroundings. As much as the Internet would love to believe it, he had never actually been to a gay bar and this one was far from what he had expected one to be like. The atmosphere was friendly and there were a lot of people dressed over the top, but it was not overly-sexual and no one had tried to hit on him yet.

At that moment a magnificently tall woman bumped into him.

"Sorry darlin'" she said with a smile. Only the she was, in fact, a he.

The guy was wearing a curly blonde wig, a sparkly outfit, copious amounts of glittery makeup and a pair of 6 inch heels.

After realising Dan was staring in awe he turned to face him properly and gave an introduction.

"My name's Chris. By day that is - tonight I'm Becca!" He giggled.

Dan found his eyes wandering down to the high heels, something that Becca didn't miss.

"My shoes aren't the only 6 inch-ers I've got." And with a quick wink and a swing of the hips Becca trotted off into the crowd.


	2. Chapter 2 - Strange Urges

Chapter Two - Strange Urges

Dan watched Becca walk away, and continued to stand and stare into the empty space he had now vacated for a considerable amount of was until a smiley guy with impossibly tight jeans sidled up to him.

"Why hello there handsome. You look kind of lost."

"Oh, I, um..."

It was true, Dan had lost his bearings. He was in an unfamiliar place, he had just had his first encounter with a cross-dresser and he couldn't even remember what he was doing there in the first place.

He shook his head and forced himself to think straight. His first thought was to ask the guy whether he had seen the group of people whom he was looking for, but as surely as the thought had come to him he changed his mind. He had the strangest urge to find Becca, to talk to him. For a reason unknown to Dan he wanted to ask him whether he had seen Phil or the others.

"I uh, I'm fine thanks. Just looking for someone. Tall guy ... girl ... guy, blonde hair. Becca?"

"Hhhmmm I can see why you're interested honey, but I'm not sure Becca swings that way. Even so, that's him over there." He pointed to a corner sofa away from the dance floor.

"Uh, thanks..." And with that Dan turned and walked over.

What was he doing? Maybe it was the bright lights, all the sparkles. He had never acted this irrationally in his life. Before he knew it his feet had stopped in their tracks and he was standing in front of Becca, who was sat with another man dressed in elaborate drag.

Becca looked up, recognised Dan from five minutes beforehand and flashed him a smile.

"Wow, back again so soon? I knew you'd be interested when I first saw you. You're having doubts, confused? I understand that, but it's really liberating, trust me."

"Wha-?" Becca was correct, he was confused. That was until he, rather belatedly, realised that he thought Dan was interested in dressing in drag. "No, I'm, I came to ask if you'd seen a group of people, my friends, I mean I came here to find them..." He was rambling in his nervous state. He didn't like to admit it but Becca intimidated him. He was so confident, and slightly scary. "... Black hair, side fringe, I don't know if they'd be here..."

"I'm sorry babe but I can't say I've seen a group of people matching that oh-so-lovely description" he cooed mockingly.

"Right, okay, well, I'll be on my way then, um..."

"Oh, going so soon? Well, be sure to come back some time to visit me."

At that point Becca's friend, going by the name of Penelope Jane, piped up.

"And make sure to bring this 'Phil' guy with you. He sounds _ravishing_"

As awkwardly as only Dan could possibly make it, he shuffled to turn around and managed to escape the club. He should have called a cab, but his mind was filled with deep, confusing thoughts as he made his way home by foot. It didn't even cross his mind to continue looking for the bar Phil et al were in.

"Dan! What happened to you? I tried calling but you wouldn't pick up. I thought you would be joining us, I didn't realise you would be staying at Jodie's all night."

When Dan arrived an hour later at the apartment, Phil was waiting for him slightly concerned, and rightfully so. He never usually fell off the radar like that, not even for one night.

"Oh yeah, um, battery died..." He was still in a dazed state. What the hell was going on? He didn't feel himself at all. He considered telling Phil about Pink Punters and his brief encounter with Becca, but something told him this situation was different to usual.

Normally Dan would have come through the door laughing and told Phil the ridiculous tale before planning a video about it to film the next day. ("Hello Internet, so yesterday... I got mistaken for a guy who looks like he likes to dress in drag..." *dramatic pause whilst staring into the camera in annoyance*) but Dan had no desire to laugh about the strange night he had must had. He and Phil were as close as best friends could possibly be, and even when he was feeling as strange as this he should have felt like he could talk to him about it.

But he really didn't want to.

Brushing off Phil's attempt at a conversation, he walked to his bedroom, got into bed and fell straight asleep, hoping the weird aura that was currently surrounding him would pass by the time he woke up.

"Do you want a drink?"

The next day and Dan was at Jodie's apartment to hang out for a while. They weren't exactly an item, they had only kissed a few times so far, but they were definitely starting to move out of the awkward 'getting together' stage.

Dan was still feeling weird about the night before and didn't particularly feel like spending time with Jodie, but he realised that he was being stupid and that if he ever wanted things to work out well he was going to have to put aside strange nightclubs and mind-boggling cross-dressing men.

"Please," he smiled, and she walked off to the kitchen.

A minute later and Jodie's doorbell rang. Another minute and she popped her head around the door into the main room of her apartment where he was sitting.

"I'm sorry, my neighbour needs some help with something, I'll try not to be too long, is that okay?"

Dan told her it was fine with another smile (she really was one of the prettiest and kindest girls he had ever met) and pulled his phone out of his pocket so he could pass the time on tumblr.

He hadn't been alone in her apartment before, and had never had a chance to properly look around. His eyes wondered and fell on something he could just see through the gap in Jodie's slightly open bedroom door. A bra.

Dan wasn't immature or creepy in the least, but for the second time in 24 hours he had the strangest urge to do something. He got up from the sofa where he was sitting and walked the length of the room to the bedroom door. Edging in he found himself standing by Jodie's bed, looking down at the underwear laying there.

_It's really liberating, trust me_

Becca's voice rang through his head as his thoughts became muddled...

Gently, he reached down and picked up the bra, spending a few minutes just holding it in his hands...

...and then Jodie was at the bedroom door...

... And he was wearing the bra.


	3. Chapter 3 - Confusion

Chapter Three: Confusion

"Dan!? What are you-?"

"OH GOD, OH GOD" he spluttered, immediately ripping the bra from his chest and dropping it on the floor. "Jodie, wait...!"

"I... That's my bra! What are you even doing in here?"

"Jodie, listen, oh god, it's not what you think!"

"I didn't have you down as a pervert!"

"Jesus Christ, I'm not, I swear, fuck!"

"I should have know you were just like the rest,trying to get in my pants!"

"Please, that's not what I'm trying to do!"

"You entered my room when I was out and went straight for my underwear!" She decided to overlook the small detail that Dan was _wearing _the bra. It was just a bit too much weirdness for her to handle right now.

Dan wanted to answer back, tell her she had got him all wrong, but what could he say? That since last night he had been having strange urges to start cross dressing?

"I think you should leave."

"Yeah I will, but please just know, you've got this all wrong!"

"Dan-"

"Okay, I'm going," he said with a note of despair. He didn't want to leave it like that but what else could he do? With a quick pace he exited through Jodie's front door and, just as the night before, he was so wrapped up in his thoughts he forgot to call a cab.

He continued walking quickly, dragging his hand through his hair, his heart beating fast. He didn't want to go back to the apartment and so continued walking with no where in mind for half an hour until his feet led him somewhere unexpected.

He had stopped outside Pink Punters.

"Well well, the stranger hath returned." It was Becca, or rather Chris as he was not dressed up in drag. He was smiling at Dan mischievously, somehow seeming to know what was running through his mind.

"Oh... hi Becca." Dan was as surprised to bump into Chris as he was to find himself standing outside the club.

"It's Chris, I'm not dressed up yet you see?"

"Oh... Right, yeah."

"Dear me, you really are a scatter brain. Do you think you could speak one sentence without pausing or 'erm'-ing?"

"Erm..."

Chris raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I'll ask you some simple questions and you answer, okay? What are you doing here?"

"To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure. Since last night, I've... I don't know."

A hefty laugh, so much different from the tinkling giggle he had heard last night, escaped Chris' mouth. "The allure of the club dragged you in I see? And I mean drag figuratively _and_ literally."

"Okay," Dan finally got his head into gear. "Are you coming on to me or... Trying to get me to join your fancy dress club? This is so messed up. What do you want from me?"

"You're the one who's turned up here two days in a row..."

Both men started at each other in silence. Dan knew Chris was right, but somehow felt he was to blame for all of this confusion.

"I came here by accident looking for my friends, you know that."

"Yet here you are again now."

It was the middle of the afternoon and the staff at Pink Punters were setting up for the night ahead. Dan glanced through the glass doors and windows to the people rushing about inside.

"This place, I've never known anything like it."

"Me neither. I got pulled in by the atmosphere. I never thought drag would be my thing but it all happened so fast. I understand how you're feeling..." Chris made a gesture with his hand towards Dan.

"Dan. My name's Dan." He took another glance inside. He caught glimpse of a small stage and an image came to mind. He was standing up on that stage, dressed elaborately in a shimmery silver dress, with a slit down the side running all the way to his thigh, and strappy heels, balancing a pink feather boa between the crooks in his arms. He stepped gracefully around in time to the music, swinging his hips from side to side as men and women watched him in awe. He was rhythmic, he was sensual, he was beautiful.

"Jesus Christ, what am I doing here?" He asked more to himself than Chris as he snapped out of the day dream.

"It's okay, just come inside with me. I can help you. We'll make a drag queen of you yet."

And before Dan could even comprehend what he was doing, he followed Chris inside.


End file.
